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Birgit is a self-proclaimed intense talker, so we spoke during the entire colonic about nutrition, health, and wellness, and I asked her questions about the aftercare. This is the colonic machine. With a colonic, it must be administered by a trained professional in their facility. Then I followed her piercingly flippant instructions to hop off the table and onto the toilet immediately.

My only happy thought at this point? Reclining on his couch after devouring our food, I looked Sean in the eye, feeling grateful to have met him. Birgit decides on the amount of pressure you will receive depending on your size, so, for example, a pound dude could take a lot more pressure than I, a much slimmer person, can. The Prep You should know that there's some prep work involved.

Come colon day, I awoke to meet Sean, drenched in sweat. The text messages came around noon that day. Suppressing the urge to hyperventilate, I stare at the wall.

Sean expressed that it was nice to meet me. The lighted part is where you can see all the crap that comes out of you.

The pain subsided and suddenly I was a believer. That someone would step so far from ordinary with me felt reassuring.

What if I were to respond abnormally? What if I were to lose control of my bowels, dating app rayando permanently?

View photos I was assured that this is a common side effect and to just breathe though it, which I did. To be a bottomless pit was glorious. This raw image automatically heightens my awareness of the cold, lubricated colonic tool touching my ass.

Obligation steered me forward. After that, the rest of the colonic was easy breezy. Make sure your hydrotherapist is licensed this is a must. It's not as bad as you think. Why would I place myself in such an odd position around someone I wanted so badly to like me, and to view me as sexy?

After the insertion Birgit asked me to turn my right foot around the tubing and lay on my back, kind of like a Pilates posture. Precisely seven days later, Sean broke things off over the phone. Birgit turned on the colon hydrotherapy unit's pressure and warm filtered water started to flow into my colon, each flush of water lasting just a few seconds long.

What does colonics mean?

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So I booked an appointment. This process not only relaxes your colon but also alerts Birgit is there's a specific area that she should to work on. Are you sure you want to delete this answer?

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That said, if you want to experience one for yourself, definitely discuss it with your doctor beforehand. Is a colonic date the smartest way to woo? Fuck me for being so annoyingly open and talkative that I corner myself into conversations about the sexual tendencies of bonobos, and bowel movements.

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Some may be retained and later passed in urine as your body may absorb some of the water. Arguably, we were crazy, but we were crazy together. And as everything started flowing, she pointed out a transparent tube where I watched my waste float by, which left me with a deep, cleansed sensation. They repeat this process and each time the water would reach further into your colon and then drain.

And now she gives colonics all day! After today, how will Sean even look at my naked ass?

Your colon is obviously where elimination takes place, but occasionally things don't always flush themselves out the way they should. Upon greeting him, I was relieved to learn that he felt as weird as I did. The worst was yet to come.

How could he break it off, what with our impending colonic date? You can even watch what comes out on the lighted bit of the machine, which was way cooler than it sounds, I promise. It's almost like a triumphant feeling when you see what's coming out of you. Some colonic therapists offer packages of multiple sessions for a discount. There is no odor and the therapist looks at the tubing to determine how well the colonic is clearing your colon.

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What Getting a Colonic Actually Feels Like

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She quit her job, studied to become a colon hydrotherapist, and opened Move. During my unforgettable time with Birgit, she assured me that she has not once witnessed any negative side effects from a colonic. We were both drained and fatigued. Cut to post-coital cuddling on the couch with Sean, four weeks later.

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Call it the Temporal Ass Insertion equation. Utterly conflicted, I paced around my studio. They would prescribe an antibiotic, and when she came back saying it hadn't helped, they'd just prescribe another. Then, I was brought into a dimly lit room to meet Birgit.

To be honest, I didn't feel that much different in the following days. Or maybe we just went too far, too soon. More In one minute session, about two to six liters of distilled water are pumped in and out of you.